On the Way to Texas...

On the way to TX the first plane we boarded to go to Houston was TINY! It was seriously made for Minjas! (midgit ninjas) I couldn't believe the lack of leg room...! I mean, I'm pretty short, 5'3, and I was crunched. Not to mention having a ten month old child on my lap with my purse and gigantic diaper bag at my feet.

The plane was only three seats wide with a tiny isle. When I boarded the plane I smacked someone with the diaperbag... Right in the face, POW! Getting in the seats was also difficult. I had a window seat and getting to that seat when the ceiling is shorter than I was, was very hard trying to carry my child, diaper bag and purse. It was even worse because Amir was grabbing at everything he could see. Including the man in front of me, his hat was bright orange and he loved it. He also liked the lady next to him.. She had blonde hair.

It was about a three hour flight and Amir was pretty mellow for the first hour and a half. He slept for about thirty minutes on the plane. After he woke up all hell broke loose. He started screaming and throwing a fit if I didn't let him grab the orange hat man. Which happened every five to ten minutes.

I love the way people look at moms and babies when the baby is screaming... What the crap am I supposed to do??? Cover his mouth and suffocate him?! Not an option people!!

Towel Heads

Recently I received a warning about the use of this politically incorrect term, so please note: We all need to be more sensitive in our choice of words. I have been informed that the Islamic terrorists, who hate our guts and want to kill us, do not liked to be called "Towel Heads" since the item they wear on their heads is not actually a towel, but in fact, a small folded sheet. Therefore, from this point forward, please refer to them as "Little Sheet Heads". Thank you for your support and compliance on this delicate matter.

Baby Poo

Its been a while since I've written anything so I thought I might as well tell you about yesterday's events....



Yesterday around 2:00pm I was on my way down with my sister to pick up her retainer. About half way there (ten minutes into the drive) I could smell something in the back seat and knew immediatly what it was.. Dirty, stinky diaper. So I thought to myself: "Boy thats a stinky one, what did he eat? I'll have to change him when we get to our destination" (or something to that effect)

When we arrived at the Orthodontists office I told my sister to go in and get started and I would wait out in the car/change the stinky of all stinky's. I got out of the car and opened the back door where Amir was and right then is when I knew something was not right. The smell was so bad I had to step back and catch my breath. After taking a moment to compose myself I went to take him out of the carseat to assess the damage inside his diaper. But I did not even get that far... After removing a toy and his bottle from his lap I realize the horror of the ordeal. It was ALL over. I'm not talking just a little in his pants all over, I'm talking ALL OVER: On the car seat, down his leg, up his back and all over his toys and bottle.

I took him superman style into the Orthodontists office to strip him down ad clean him up. I went into their bathroom to find that there was no changing table or anything that I could put him on to pull off my circus act. I had a choice: Toilet or sink. I chose sink. I turned on the water, still holding him superman style. I decided to just put him in clothes and all. Keep in mind, this entire time he has not cried or let out any sort of noise of protest at all. So I proceed to take off his clothes and set them aside. I threw his stinky diaper away and prepared to start washing his body. This is where the fun began... His poo was so sticky that I couldn't just rinse it off with soap and water, I had to scrub it off! Soap, water and fingernails. Thats right, fingernails. After that I had to dry him off with paper towels.


After my sister had finished with everything we went back out to the car. I didn't realize the next step would be just as hard as bathing a crazed 9 month old in a tiny sink. I had my sister hold him while I prepared to clean off his carseat. Well it was so sticky that I couldn't get it all off. I had to just get the big clumps and put some paper towels over it and call it good until I got home. I dropped my sister off and headed home. The whole time I could smell the unforgivable stench.


I finally arrived home and realized that Amir had pulled the paper towels out from under him and thrown them around the car. I took him inside the house and Ruthie started licking his leg, you know that can only mean one thing..... I turned on the bath water and continued to bathe him... Again. Once he finished with the bath I gave him a bottle and put him down for a nap.

The next step: I brought everything in and sorted out the "poopie" from "non-poopie". I placed myself in the "poopie" pile. I cleaned all the "poopie", including myself. But I could still smell the unforgivable stench for hours after.

Independence Day

Yesterday during all of the festivities I started to wonder: "When did people start actually using fireworks to celebrate the 4th?"
My first thought was to text "CHACHA" because so far they haven't failed to answer any of my previous questions to my satisfaction. But this time, I was very disappoint. I asked them the question specifically to the 4th of July and they came back with a lame answer that involved China. Yes, we all know that they have been using fireworks for the past 2,000 or so years. But that was NOT my question. Not once in my question did I mention China. So to my disappointment I had to look elsewhere.
Where you ask? Google. They never seem to fail me. Although usually I do always come across something even better on the path for answers to my sometimes odd questions.
The first thing I typed into the Google search bar was simple: "Independence Day". One of the first places it directed me to was Wikipedia. Another great site that has all the answers. What I found on this site at first was not an answer to my initial question to CHACHA but I did find some interesting facts.

Some of which were:

In 1778, General George Washington marked July 4 with a double ration of rum for his soldiers and an artillery salute. Across the Atlantic Ocean, ambassadors John Adams and Benjamin Franklin held a dinner for their fellow Americans in Paris, France.

In 1779, July 4 fell on a Sunday. The holiday was celebrated on Monday, July 5.

In 1783, Moravians in Salem, North Carolina, held the first celebration of July 4 in the country with a challenging music program assembled by Johann Friedrich Peter. This work was titled "The Psalm of Joy".

In 1791 was the first recorded use of the name "Independence Day".

In 1870, the U.S. Congress made Independence Day an unpaid holiday for federal employees.

In 1931, Congress changed Independence Day to a paid federal holiday. The residents of Vicksburg, Mississippi, celebrated Independence Day for the first time since July 4, 1863, when the Siege of Vicksburg ended with a Union victory during the American Civil War.

I later found that fireworks started being used in 1777, one year after the Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4, 1776.

I also found that America's Freedom Festival at Provo, in Utah, is one of the largest freedom festivals. It includes one of the largest Independence Day parades, and the Stadium of Fire.

Raccoon

Two nights ago before I went to bed around 11:30pm I went to close the door in my bedroom. I heard something outside and I thought it was a cat that has been coming around. I turned on the light to see if it was the cat. I saw a cat, or so I thought. It was somewhat far away, I was looking through the screen and I didn't have my glasses on. I got closer to the screen to see which cat it was and to my surprise it was a very large Raccoon!! Right when I realized what it was I noticed all around the yard were more and more raccoons! There was even a little bitty baby one.

I ran to the kitchen to find my camera but by the time I got back they had all ran away. After I closed the door and turned off the porch light I sat on the bed and realized that when I saw them they were all coming towards my house. I thought to myself " WHY were they all coming towards the house?" I still don't know. I thought maybe Ruthie caught something outside but the next day when I went out to look around there was nothing there.

Who knows why they were there. But I haven't seen them since!