Baby Poo

Its been a while since I've written anything so I thought I might as well tell you about yesterday's events....



Yesterday around 2:00pm I was on my way down with my sister to pick up her retainer. About half way there (ten minutes into the drive) I could smell something in the back seat and knew immediatly what it was.. Dirty, stinky diaper. So I thought to myself: "Boy thats a stinky one, what did he eat? I'll have to change him when we get to our destination" (or something to that effect)

When we arrived at the Orthodontists office I told my sister to go in and get started and I would wait out in the car/change the stinky of all stinky's. I got out of the car and opened the back door where Amir was and right then is when I knew something was not right. The smell was so bad I had to step back and catch my breath. After taking a moment to compose myself I went to take him out of the carseat to assess the damage inside his diaper. But I did not even get that far... After removing a toy and his bottle from his lap I realize the horror of the ordeal. It was ALL over. I'm not talking just a little in his pants all over, I'm talking ALL OVER: On the car seat, down his leg, up his back and all over his toys and bottle.

I took him superman style into the Orthodontists office to strip him down ad clean him up. I went into their bathroom to find that there was no changing table or anything that I could put him on to pull off my circus act. I had a choice: Toilet or sink. I chose sink. I turned on the water, still holding him superman style. I decided to just put him in clothes and all. Keep in mind, this entire time he has not cried or let out any sort of noise of protest at all. So I proceed to take off his clothes and set them aside. I threw his stinky diaper away and prepared to start washing his body. This is where the fun began... His poo was so sticky that I couldn't just rinse it off with soap and water, I had to scrub it off! Soap, water and fingernails. Thats right, fingernails. After that I had to dry him off with paper towels.


After my sister had finished with everything we went back out to the car. I didn't realize the next step would be just as hard as bathing a crazed 9 month old in a tiny sink. I had my sister hold him while I prepared to clean off his carseat. Well it was so sticky that I couldn't get it all off. I had to just get the big clumps and put some paper towels over it and call it good until I got home. I dropped my sister off and headed home. The whole time I could smell the unforgivable stench.


I finally arrived home and realized that Amir had pulled the paper towels out from under him and thrown them around the car. I took him inside the house and Ruthie started licking his leg, you know that can only mean one thing..... I turned on the bath water and continued to bathe him... Again. Once he finished with the bath I gave him a bottle and put him down for a nap.

The next step: I brought everything in and sorted out the "poopie" from "non-poopie". I placed myself in the "poopie" pile. I cleaned all the "poopie", including myself. But I could still smell the unforgivable stench for hours after.